


The World It Turns, No Matter What

by homosociallyyours



Series: Days of Our Louis [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Coming Out, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 12:38:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14569185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosociallyyours/pseuds/homosociallyyours
Summary: Louis and Harry have been best friends through childhood. When Harry comes out to Louis and Louis comes out in return, the two of them decide to make time to share secrets in the middle of the night.This is one night, one conversation, one moment where they can both be themselves together.





	The World It Turns, No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the wonderful celebration of Louis that the lovely [rosegoldhl](http://rosegoldhl.tumblr.com) put together, [The Five Days of Louis](http://fivedaysoflouis.tumblr.com) Project. 
> 
> This particular ficlet was inspired by Louis' beautiful song "Just Hold On" and is the first in a mini-series that will follow childhood friends Louis and Harry through the process of coming out and realizing their love for one another. I hope to post something each day for the 5dol challenge, but if I'm not able to do it I'll still finish up the story!
> 
> Finally, this story is unbetaed, so all mistakes are 100% mine!

 

It was nearing 2am and the house had finally gone quiet, everyone sleeping except for Louis. His mum had taken forever to go to bed, and he’d started to worry that he’d be late to meet Harry. If he left quickly it should be fine. He pulled a jumper on over his t-shirt and picked up his shoes, waiting to put them on til he’d crept down the hall and carefully opened the door. 

He started out toward the park, listening to the sound his shoes made against the road in the quiet of the night and appreciating the moment of solitude. He and Harry had been meeting up like this at least once a week this summer. It wasn’t as though they didn’t see one another during the day, but somehow these middle of the night meet-ups felt different, special in a way. Louis wasn’t sure if it was the darkness or the quiet or the secrecy, but whatever it was felt magical, and he hated to think that they’d lose it once the summer ended. 

The sound of Harry’s footsteps coming toward him shook him from his thoughts, and he looked up, cracking a smile when his eyes met Harry’s. They climbed onto their usual table and laid down head-to-head, their feet dangling off the ends. They didn’t even bother with the formality of hello anymore, choosing instead to go straight to lying down and staring up at the sky, waiting for their conversations to start. 

*

It was Harry’s idea to begin with. Two weeks into summer break Louis had gone to stay at Harry’s and after playing FIFA for most of the afternoon and evening they’d stayed up half the night talking about nothing at all, mostly joking around, sometimes wandering into the territory of sex and who liked whom, but usually just making each other laugh. When they finally turned the lights out to fall asleep, Louis heard Harry whisper his name. 

“You still awake, Lou?” he asked, just soft enough that Louis could have chosen to ignore it. He didn’t, though. 

“Yeah,” he said, not turning to look at Harry. “You?” 

“Obviously,” Harry said, his amusement evident in the slight giggle behind his voice. “Um.” He paused long enough that Louis thought he might not say anything else, though that didn’t really make any sense. Louis waited, listening to the sound of their breathing mixing in the room. “I’ve been wanting to tell you something, but I don’t want you to think I’m weird,” Harry whispered suddenly after his long silence. 

“I already think you’re pretty weird, Hazza. So there’s not much you could do to change that,” Louis said, teasing because it was the only way he could release the nerves that were building inside of him. He had a feeling about what was coming, and the thought that he could be right nearly made him twitch. 

“Heyyy,” Harry said, pinching Louis’ arm. The contact was a reminder that they were sharing a bed. That they were side by side in the dark, even if they weren’t looking at one another. Louis swatted at the spot where Harry’s hand had been and cleared his throat. 

“ ‘M only teasing,” he said, bumping the backs of his knuckles against Harry’s arm. “You know you can tell me anything.” He tried to control his breathing, but it was hard. He wanted everything to be quiet. For Harry to be asleep. For nothing to change. 

“I think, um. I might. Might _not_ be, umm,” Harry held the hum of the m for what seemed like an interminable amount of time until he exhaled a puff of breath and waited a beat before finishing his thought. “Straight.” 

And there it was, exactly what Louis had thought he’d say. If he was honest, he’d played through this hypothetical moment a lot over the past year or so, imagining himself having a variety of responses from shock to support to a casual shrug that would show he’d known all along and didn’t mind it. He didn’t expect to hear himself whisper, “me too,” in a voice that was smaller than his own usually was. Harry hadn’t either, obviously. He turned on his side and put his hand on Louis’ arm. 

“You too? You’re not just joking with me, right Louis? You wouldn’t with this?” Harry’s voice was urgent as Louis turned to face him and shook his head. 

“I’d never,” Louis said. “I’ve known I was--” he stopped himself from saying gay, opting instead for Harry’s language-- “not straight for about a year now, maybe two?” 

“That long? I just started realizing a few months ago. I mean I get on well enough with girls, but there’s just something different, you know?” 

Of course Louis knew. They’d stayed up for another couple of hours talking about it until they were both nodding off mid-conversation. 

“We should meet up this summer. Like this, you know. Late at night with nobody else around. Like once a week or so,” Harry said, smothering a yawn. 

Louis agreed. They worked out the details the next day, deciding that they’d either have sleepovers or meet up in the park that was about midway between their houses. It had to be the middle of the night, and they could talk about anything they wanted to, but especially things that they didn’t want to say with their families around. 

Mostly they ended up in the park, both feeling like they were a bit too old at 16 to have regular sleepovers with one another and enjoying the thrill of sneaking out under the cover of darkness with none of their parents the wiser.  
* 

There were more stars visible than usual, and Louis wondered what it would be like if he could put himself up there and look down at the world. “Wouldn’t it be sick if you could see what the stars would see? Like if you were up there with them looking down and just watching everything on earth,” Louis said quietly. 

“Like if you were a star, you’d look down at the people and they’d be these little points of like, light or energy?” Harry asked. It wasn’t what Louis had been thinking, but he liked it just the same. 

“Yeah, Haz,” he said. “Sorta like that. To just be up there with them instead of here.” 

“You tell your Mum yet?” Harry asked. He could read between the lines of everything Louis said now, it seemed. Like he could see inside of Louis’ brain and watch his thoughts bump around against one another. 

“No,” Louis said, shifting his eyes and tilting his head so he could look at Harry. “You?” 

“I did, actually,” he said quietly. Louis waited for him to continue, not wanting to push in case it had gone badly. Just as he was about to crack and ask for details, Harry spoke up again. “She was really great about it. Supportive. A little sad, maybe, but only for a moment.” 

“I’m happy for you,” Louis said. And he was. But he worried that this would be the end, that they wouldn’t have these late night meet-ups for the next couple of weeks or try to figure out ways to extend them once school started back up. “So I guess you won’t need these middle of the night hangouts anymore, then? Mister out-and-proud, yeah?” 

Harry rolled onto his side, lifting himself up to look down at Louis. “You’re kidding, right?” his brow was furrowed with confusion. “Lou, I don’t wanna give this up. Having this with you is what made me feel like I could talk to my Mum. And I’m not planning on starting any clubs at school this year. Was kind of hoping we could keep this between us, there.” He rolled onto his back again, staring up at the sky. “I’d like to say I’m totally different now, but I’m not. It’s like the end of a chapter, maybe? But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of everything. Of this.” 

Louis smiled to himself. “I don’t want it to be the end. Still need it pretty badly, actually.” 

“Lou?” Harry said after they’d been silent for several minutes. “Do you think it’ll go badly with your Mum?” 

He didn’t, really. It was hard to explain, though. “No? She loves me. I know she does and she always will. But it’s sort of like-- what if it all just goes wrong?” The one thing that was good about the secret was that Louis controlled it. It kept everything going just as it always had. 

Harry hummed in response, taking his time to think about what Louis had said. “I feel like if it goes wrong-- and that’s a big if --the world keeps turning, yeah? You ride it out and talk to me and we get through it together.” 

Put that way, it didn’t sound so bad. It still could be, yeah, but maybe not. “Maybe you’re right,” Louis said. “We’ll see if I can do it before school starts up.” 

Louis heard his watch alarm beep and both he and Harry sat up, turning to face one another. “Same time next week?” Harry asked, brushing some leaves from his joggers and plucking a piece of a twig out of Louis’ hair. 

“Always,” Louis said. They hugged goodbye and went off their separate ways, both of them lighter and somehow more grounded all at once, and both grateful for what they had together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you want to [say hi on tumblr](http://homosociallyyours.tumblr.com) I love making friends, and if you want to reblog a fic post it'll be along shortly. In the meantime please do check out the [#5dol tag](https://www.tumblr.com/search/5dol) on tumblr!


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